Tuesday, November 8, 2011
There comes a time (in fact, there comes many times when you're my age; this funny stage that so many people refer to as "growing up" or "becoming an adult") when you begin slowly and surely to realise that you are utterly and completely your own responsibility. And it's not just - in fact, it's not even close to just - the bills and the rent and the uni assignments and the dinner reservations and all that other obligation stuff society demands that you bite over like a big, fat cheeseburger with a big, fat smile. It's yourself. Your inner peace, the strength of your will, the stamina of your patience. Mahatma Gandhi said that happiness is when what you say, what you think, and what you do are in harmony - kinda like a happy person in a happy spirit in a happy body. I think it's never too early to realise that you deserve your own life. It is not something to be saved for when you are older and richer and have less things on your hands. If everything on your hands is just becoming things and not enjoyable moments of happiness, then they really and truly should not be there. They are but wasting moments in a life that you'll look at when you're what we call old (so, like 50) and either be satisfied with, at peace with and even proud of or regret, wonder and despair over. Sure, those are blacks and whites, but you get the picture. I'm also not saying that everything in life is absolutely fantastic; there are certainly hard times, and those can be tough and uncomfortable and I know I've wanted to run away from them many a time. What I am saying, though, is that at a certain point enough becomes enough and if you don't feel like reading the Penguin copy of Pride and Prejudice staring down at you from your bookshelf and would rather go to a shop and purchase a secondhand copy of Shadow of the Wind, then so be it. In fact, it should a moment of true enjoyment, because you are allowing yourself to do as you wish. To me, it's kind of like being a child again, when you only did and said what you felt like and let everything else hear otherwise should it be so. I'm liking this newfound excitement for what I feel and how I want to be. I know I want to write and read and travel and be a happy spirit in a happy body in a happy me. I know I don't want to waste time on people who drain me of energy or spend my time doing what is expected of me by people I don't even know, otherwise called society. Some would perhaps call this irresponsible. Others childish. I call it freedom.